When you’re ready.

Dear me,

I see you. I see you trying. I see you giving. I see you working hard. I see your hopes. I see your dreams. I see you blasting through obstacles to become a force to be reckoned with.

I see you. I see you giving up. I don’t blame you. I see you holding back. I see you letting things pile up. I see you losing hope. I see your dreams fading away.

I see you. I see your kindness. I see your willingness to go above and beyond for those you love. I see you putting yourself out there. I see your heart. I see you being your best self.

I see you. I see how life has hardened you. I see you putting walls back up to protect yourself. I see you closing the doors, and locking them tight. I see you falling, and not getting back up.

I see the two sides of you fighting. I see your hope, but I see your hurt pushing it away. Hope has become a double edged sword; you hold on so tight and don’t notice you’re bleeding. I see you fighting, and how it’s exhausting you. I know it sucks. I know it hurts. I know you don’t want to try, and right now you don’t have to. I know those bricks you took down were heavy, and putting them back up is breaking you.

I see that spark still burning, even though you’re holding it hostage. You’re threatening it with water, ready to drown it. But you’re still holding into that sword, bleeding or not. You know that hope is such a part of you; a part of you so deep nothing can take that away. But I  see how that hope has hurt you. It’s told you you could have it all, only to realize hope was wrong. Hope told you you were enough, but showed you you were too much.

I see you breathing. I see you living. You’re accustomed to the storm. You live the storm daily. You stand steady in the storm; you dig in deep and hold on with every ounce of strength you can muster. You’re used to the rain. You’ve lived like a rod in a lightning storm; taking the chances but hoping for the best. You’re scared to leap, but you leap anyway. You don’t want to leap anymore.

I see you.

I feel you.

I hear you.

I understand you, even when you don’t.

I’m here when you’re ready; when you’re ready to do the work and start climbing the fuck back up. No matter the storm, no matter the day. I see both sides of you trying to win this war. Once you stop fighting, you’ll realize you need both sides of you to keep going. You know you’ve got to let it in to let it out. Let it in when you’re ready. I know you don’t like being vulnerable. It makes you feel weak. You’ve come out of each fire burned, but you still came out. Isn’t that the whole point?

So for now, I’ll hold onto your hopes and dreams. I’ll hold onto your strength. I’ll hold onto your compassion. Most importantly, I’ll hold onto the key; when you’re ready to open the doors.

Love,
me.

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