It’s been one year with my feeding tube! I knew it was coming up, but I still can’t believe an entire year has gone by. As most of you know, the beginning stages of my feeding tube were less than stellar. I spent much of the first week crying, and telling my mom I made a mistake.
My body didn’t feel like my own. Between the swelling, trapped air, and the tube itself, I hated my reflection. I felt like my body would never recover and I hated it. I was weak, and tired, and in continuous pain.
Before I knew it, things began to feel normal. Carrying around a backpack during the day and being attached to it began to feel normal. My body slowly became familiar again, and was receiving much needed nourishment.
I had my first run only a few months later. I was able to do so much and still am. At the time I felt like a feeding tube was going to hold me back. I thought things were going to be harder, when in fact, things got better. A feeding tube isn’t a death sentence. There’s a definite learning curve, and complications from time to time. (I did throw mine up!) It may take some time to adjust, and seeing your stomach with this thing sticking out of it may never be normal. I’ve been able to do so much with mine. If you’ve followed my blog long enough you know how grateful I am to mine for helping me accomplish so much.
I see my body now and I still see imperfections. That’s okay though. I also see strength, determination, and a whole lot of resilience.